So, my followers who have been following me since I made this blog knows (or maybe not) that I keep going back and forth on the matter of blogging about my personal issues.
I think I'm just going to blog what I want to blog about when I want. I'll label everything for you guys so if you are just following me for my reviews (which is what I blog about mostly) you don't have to dig through my personal posts.
Anyways, here is the start of my rant/writing down my thoughts:
I have recently moved in with my boyfriend of almost one year due to how much he works. If I stayed with my parents place which is miles away from where my boyfriend's work is located, we were not going to be able to see each other what so ever.
Well, I haven't seen him (physically) for almost a week now and it is killing both of us. His job requires him to be out of town for a week and up to two weeks.
We both knew what we signed up for but we didn't know how hard it would be being apart.
Before we started officially dating, I was totally used to just seeing him twice every two weeks because of his job. Now after seeing him every day and every night, being apart kills me.
My sleeping pattern is crazy and completely ruined.
I have a terrible fear of the dark and complete silence when I'm alone. When I lived with my parent's house, I had two jobs and classes to attend to. I was usually asleep by the time I got home while my sisters blasted Korean music, my dad watching tv and my dogs running around everywhere. So, sleeping by myself, in my own room, in the dark, was not bad at all. Plus, our house was right by the streets where I could listen to all the cars drive by (which I love listening to)
Here at the new house, it's a quiet neighborhood and every single small noise our apartment makes freaks me out when my boyfriend is out of town.
Bottom line is.... I CANNOT SLEEP UNLESS THE SUN IS UP.
I'm not even kidding...
I woke up at 2pm today. Oh my goodness I felt like crap. Crappity crap crap. Each night since I think Monday I starting sleeping later and later. Now its freaking 5am in the morning and I'm not asleep.
I keep the lights on and the tv on trying to sleep on the couch without being paranoid about every little thing. It doesn't work... I'm too paranoid.
I need the sun up and I need to know that it is morning and when it is morning people have work to go to and lives to live so they will be up and about. That eases my paranoid self so I can sleep.
I just really miss him. I really miss eating dinner together and sleeping next to each other and seeing him off to work the next morning.
Now I'm hungry and wide awake watching Keeping up with the Kardashians (it's my new guilty pleasure)
I hope he comes home soon.
And I hope my boyfriend stops reading my blog because it's embarrassing... I don't even know why I'm so embarrassed by him reading everything on my blog... probably because I have (or at least I think) a perky, happy-go-lucky tone in my reviews when in real life, my tongue is as sharp as a dagger.
I don't know.
I think i'm going to make myself some ramen and drown in my sorrows and loneliness